I had a couple of thoughts from the day. One, I had my first BLT of the season. Oh baby, it doesn't get much better than a BLT. Secondly, after having some friends came over this afternoon, I had a discussion with Lillian. Peter and I have been noting some stress/distress on her part in group situations of late. She has been acting out when she is in a group. We had dinner then ran a quick errand. I asked her what was going on this afternoon.
L: Mama, today I just wanted to play with Briggs at school and be sweet to him, but then Emma wanted to play and I didn't know what to do. It is hard to play with more than one kid.
M: Did you feel that way this afternoon with the kids from church?
L: I started feeling angry because I didn't know who to play with or who to talk to or what to do. And when you gave me a time-out I felt like everyone was looking at me and I felt worse. I think I needed a break.
So I 100% missed the mommy boat on that one. I didn't realize her need for a private break and the stress that many friends can cause. Or did I? I feel that way a lot myself and sadly didn't pick up on it in my kid. As I head to bed, I am glad for the opportunity to get up and give it another try tomorrow. I am also really glad I asked her what was going on. We may not be to the bottom of it, but we are at least getting somewhere.
2 comments:
i'm always impressed with the things that come out of lillian's mouth. she seems to know herself really well for a 4 year old.
i suspect jack is much the same. very social, not so great in groups. they're just too overwhelming for him. (that's why he's always the kid playing alone!)
You already know this, but I am reminded that missing the boat often gives us opportunities to catch other boats, which results in teaching our kiddos what to do when one misses the boat! Knowing that mama isn't perfect, but that she's trustworthy and tries hard to help, is a better lesson than "mama has all the answers and always knows what to do." That can be a really heavy burden for you and a real let down for her once she figures out you're all too human! THanks for reminding me of this :) Lillian seems to be thriving from having the opportunity and occasion to evaluate and to express what frustrates her and what she needs. You should be proud. You guys are doing an awesome job.
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