Monday, August 21, 2006

The End

Lillian started her new school last Friday. This has been eagerly anticipated all summer. She is in the three year old preschool class three mornings a week. All along I thought this would be great and that I would be able to leave her with ease and joy. After all, Lillian talks more than anyone I have ever met and she needs other social interaction. Right? I did not want to build it up too much or not enough.

Thursday night, we got her backpack out, packed her lunch and picked out her clothes. The dress code does not have quite as much flair as Lillian. Her first outfit was not a "cute" as any of us would have liked. Lillian made up for it in her hairdue. She stated she wanted three braids. She was finally talked into two as I didn't know how to work out three. None the less, two braids connected at the bottom won out. She was really excited.

Of course we slept later than we have all summer on Friday, 7:15 a.m. We were all getting dressed and ready. The whole family went for the first day and chapel. We got into the car about 8:11 a.m. And Peter asked what time school started. "8:15 a.m." And on the mad dash to school the intermonologue started.

Should I have gotten her a cute new outfit? I can't believe she is going to school? What happened? We are going to be late to her first day of school. And Peter was helping me this morning. Am I a bad mother? I am never going to make it on time. OH NO, I am going to have to homeschool because I will never make it to school on time with everyone. I can't homeschool. They will never get into college. My dad would die if her knew I was taking her to school with soaking wet hair. It will be wet everyday I take her all year. I feel a little sad about all of this. That was unexpected. We are here. We better hurry. This is going to be great!

We took her to her room and took pictures. I started to feel that burning in my throat and stinging in my eyes. Crying totally blindsided me. I never saw it coming. We went to chapel with her class and it was a wonderful way to start school. We learned her verse for the year and sang songs. The head master talked. It felt like a wonderful loving environment. I felt confirmed in our school choice at that moment. These people love the Lord and though they will not be perfect they are seeking to do His will. What a comfort. Lillian didn't seem bothered when we left. We came home. Another monologue...

It is sooo quiet here. It feels creepy. I miss her talking. What, I miss her talking? What should I do? Now I really should clean up. I don't like this as much as I thought. It is too quiet. Oh my gosh, I am going to have to have another baby. I can't believe this. I will just walk around a little and pick up. I could just get an Ipod for some background noise. Okay, cool. No baby just an Ipod. This is way easier. You know I think I'm good. I kind of like this and Grayson is very funny all by himself.

Lillian had a blast. "Mama, Daddy, we had four circle times, art twice and I played with Herbie. The playground has lots of slides and I made a card for Daddy's birthday." She loved school. No one was really shocked. And we did it again, today. My hair was wet, but we were on time and we didn't forget her lunch.

I suppose school will be the beginning of many wonderful things and the end to many wonderful things. I guess the whole goal is to eventually launch them. I know school is the end of lazy mornings in my pajamas drinking coffee.


tirzah said...

Good Job Mel. Call me Ive got some ideas for the kitchen wall.TR

tirzah said...

Umm has anyone besides me ever failed the word verification like I just did? It doesnt help my ego that there is a wheelchair right there!