The beginning of a long goodbye...

I have said it before and I will say it again...Parenting is not 18 years and then a big launch. It is a million little launches. It is a million goodbyes hopefully with the final goodbye being death of one or the other. I pray that I am an old women with my children and grandchildren gathered around finishing well some 60 years from now. But, I am well acquainted with death even at the young age of 34. I know that it is a real possibility always in the background. Because I am acquainted with it, I don't really fear it. So, for now I am going to focus on the thing in front of me and that is launching them both into full-time school.

My true fear going into kindergarten and 2nd grade with my kids this year is Will they be loved well? And if they are not loved well, Will God be faithful to them anyway? In my heart of hearts, I know He will be. It is still a fear. It is hard to watch them suffer. Grayson started kindergarten this week and he was "nervous". I felt on that first day that I really needed to convey a since of confidence to him. I didn't cry. I just said, "You've got this. You will be great!" I feel very confident in his ability to do kindergarten. My major concern is really him breaking his arm on the concrete playground, but hey-I'm good at the ER.

As a mom, I strongly feel that my job is to equip them for each stage in life. I felt really good to launch them to kindergarten and 2nd grade. I trust that each launch will be a little easier. The whole goal is to work yourself out of a job, right? My real focus will be to fill my time with the things God has called me to other than being a mom and to be ready to assist with homework, hunger and emotions at the end of each day. I'm thrilled to be at this stage of the mommy game. I LOVE how God has made each of my children and I'm excited to see how they grow, learn and change this year. I'm also excited to see how Peter and I grow separately and together as we embark on the long goodbye to the children and the continued togetherness that is our marriage.

They are growing up and it is a little sad and a lot wonderful! We are finding out who they were created to be. There is so much joy in the journey!