Sunday, April 09, 2006

Grandma Joan

It is hard to believe that eight years ago, today, my mama died. It was the Thursday before Easter that year. It seems like just yesterday I was talking to her and also like it was a million years ago. One of my greatest sorrows is that she has never met my children. She would have loved them and would have been over the top about them. We have tried really hard to help them know her through us.

This morning before church, I was listening to the James Ward cd. I love his arrangement of Rock of Ages. I started crying as I was listening to it. Lillian came in the room and found me crying.

L: Mama, why are you crying?
M: Because I miss Grandma Joan.
L: But you don't need to miss her because she is with us in our hearts.
M: I know, but I just want to hang out with her.
L: Don't worry. We will see her when we go to Heaven.

How precious these words were from my daughter. As I was writing this she called me from her bed.

L: Mama, I am scared of the dark.
M: Sweetie, you don't need to be scared. Jesus is protecting you and mama and daddy are here with you.
L: But mama, I don't see Jesus.
M: He is still protecting you even when you don't see him.
L: How big is Jesus' heart?
M: Really big. He loves you more than mama and daddy love you. That is a whole lot.
L: Does he love me this much? (She put her arms out as wide as possible.)
M: Yes, more.
L: Mama, please pray that I won't be scared.

We prayed.

L: Mama, but what if it rains and thunders? I will be scared.
M: Don't worry Jesus will still protect you and it isn't supposed to rain tonight.
L: Mama, I asked Jesus to make it rain really hard tonight so my ball will fall out of the tree because it is stuck really high.
M: Maybe Jesus will figure out how to get it out of the tree without it raining.
L: Mama, there are a lot of people we know in heaven with Jesus. Grandma Joan, Uncle Brian, Uncle Allen, Pawpaw and Grandmother, Buh's grandma. I hope Jesus comes to get us soon.
M: Me too.


Huna said...

Oh, what a testimony of the Lord's grace and wisdom working in His chldren. What a testimony of your mama's life that you are raising a beautiful little girl who knows Him already. I am so thankful.

jeremy said...

m, tell lily i'm sorry for getting the ball stuck in the tree, and that i'll pray for the rain, too. or fast if i have to.

A&A Maynor said...

Thank you for writing this entry to the blog. Your and Lillian's words are ministering to me today. I hope Jesus comes to gets us soon, too.

Uncle A